Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What makes you feel guilty the most?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Who is the most annoying character in the Office?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

How do you take your erotic photos and how do you choose the poses?

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What do you think will be the biggest factor in determining whether Daniel Penny was justified in believing that Jordan Neely had posed a deadly threat in the manslaughter trial?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have the power to talk to aliens through using telepathy. Why do people think I'm crazy?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

How would you define love?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why do I want to suck cock tonight?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can count

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What's the most trivial thing that ever made you go to the doctor?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I see through liars

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What was the craziest place that you had sex with someone in public?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What is the hidden meaning behind 'Skibidi Ohio', and why is it trending?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t cotton to rapists

What have I done wrong? How can I start over?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Cave art discovery depicts an animal that went extinct 280-million-years ago, baffling researchers - Earth.com

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What will the legacy of Jimmy Carter be in light of his death today at 100?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What type of crossdresser are you?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I actually pay taxes